


The Author's Plot Twist

by gogh_mischa



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, Lesbian Sex, Mystery, NSFW, Past Relationship(s), Regina Mills - Freeform, Secret Relationship, emma swan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gogh_mischa/pseuds/gogh_mischa
Summary: SWANQUEEN AU! Regina Mills, a medical doctor who dreams to become an author, suddenly experiences the greatest turn of her own story when she met Emma Swan, a mysterious art student. Together, Regina became the person she has always wished to be until the love of her life suddenly disappeared.
Relationships: Daniel Colter/Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan, Henry Mills & Emma Swan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is my very first SQ Fic and I am still quite new to using AO3, though I have read a lot of fics in the past. I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter as I am also excited for what this project may bring for me. I do not own any of the characters for this fanfiction.

**December 25, 2015**

**_My dearest Emma,_ ** __

This is, as I am instructed to do, the first of the myriad of letters that I’ll start writing for you. Dr. Hopper has told me that in the silence that I am explicitly showing, there’s a thousand more words that I want to throw at him.  _ But I can’t, my love. _ I cannot make myself say anything. No matter how hard I try to tell him what I feel, how mad I am at you, or how unfair everything has been, I still shut myself from the world for everything that has transpired was my fault. 

I am scared to open up once again to a stranger who offers his help. These words, the ones that scream my anger towards you and even those that nurture my love for you, are hammering the insides of my chest. They want you to hear them, Emma! They’re like poison that seeps through my very core, paralyzing my body starting from my mouth down to my toes. It scares me Emma.  _ No, it frightens me.  _ The very thought of speaking frightens me. Because the last time I let myself speak, I eventually lost you. 

So I turn to this. Dr. Hopper explained that I must use my strength to overcome this chapter once more. And what easier way to do that than to write again. Believe me or not, I have stopped writing Emma. Your favourite author, as you claim, has stopped writing. Ironic, isn’t it, for a writer to lose her words. This is it, I suppose. The first step that I must take to accept the reality of where we both are. Or should I ask, must we really accept this reality? 

Now that you’re gone, how am I supposed to live each day all by myself? You have become one of my cornerstones, my foundation, my rock. Losing you felt like I have lost half of who I have become. Emma, you are an important part of my daily cycle. I’ve grown used to the daily “Good morning!” that I wake up to, the cuddles on the loneliest and coldest of nights, the silent kisses that stops the world for a while, and the maddening arguments that I know would become nothing by the end of the week. But the thing that I’ve come to fear the most has already happened and you’re nowhere to be found. 

On that night when I confronted you with what I thought would be better for us, never did I expect that it would be the start of my journey alone. You’ve gone cold in a matter of minutes and my doubts had sprouted like wildfire. All those screams, all those assumptions. Underneath all of them I knew I loved you, but I guess it wasn’t enough at that time. It wasn’t enough to cover up all of the new wounds we’ve inflicted once again on each other. I was too scared to appear like I am losing the battle so I had to come up with another line that would hurt you more. But later on, I’ve finally realized that I was the one losing the battle for I was losing you. I was losing the woman I’ve loved the most with every word that comes out of my mouth. _ I loved you Emma, but was I never really enough for you? _

Today, as I struggle to stand up again without your aid, the memories have once again rushed in through my veins. My hands were shaking, my legs wobbly. Would I still fight for you? Would I still look for you? Would I still long for your name, my love? Because after all, you are the most important gift I’ve received in my life. 

Where are you now? Where have you gone to? Is it time to move forward? Or should I still stay here, waiting for you to come back? Waiting and holding on to the love we’ve left behind. Things are changing, the leaves outside are gone, and my hands are getting colder once again. My dear, is it still right to wait for you to come back home? 

After all, you have always been, by far,  _ my favorite plot twist, _ Emma.

\------------------------------------

This was Regina’s first entry to her notebook. After her third visit to her psychiatrist, no words, no noise, no actions from the brunette were made aside from the soft hum coming out of her lips to answer “Yes” or “No”. How could she? For the love of her life had suddenly disappeared. It has been a year and no one could find where Emma is. No note, no texts, nor emails were left for her to understand what happened to her disappearance, aside from a sketch that she has made. It was a red poppy, Regina’s favourite flower, and on the corner of the paper Emma has written the words,  _ “Thank you.”  _

Police officers and private inspectors have been in and out of Regina’s house for the last few months. All asking for information that may possibly help them patch together the road that could lead them back to the lost swan. However, the last thing Regina could remember was that the last 2 hours they spent together were pure arguments. It was a high of emotions and anyone who could actually watch them while they were fighting would believe that these two women have never fallen for each other.

Regina knew that it was time for her to move on and start living her life again. It was the right thing to do after a year of not growing. She finally closed her notebook, ran her fingers across the spine of the thing that now holds her only connection, as she pictured it to be, to the woman she once saw her future with. 

“Emma, why have we ended like this?,'' Regina whispered to herself after she switched off the lamp that is on the corner of her desk. As she said this, she felt a little lighter and something was new. She has finally spoken after months of enduring her personal silence. She then wheeled her chair outside of her office and towards the door of her house.

“My lost Swan, I am leaving the front door open for the last time.”

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

“Dr. Mills! Dr. Mills!” shouted by an excited Mulan Fa as she opened the door of the staff room of Storybrooke Hospital.

“Calm yourself, Nurse Fa. We’re not expecting any more damages here,” as calmly as possible, Dr. Regina Mills took off her glasses and dropped whatever she was reading. “Now, why are you shouting? I got more papers to work on, Mulan.”

“Do you remember when you gave me your manuscript?” Mulan looked around the staff room to see if they were alone. “Not the project we’re working on our cancer biomarkers, but your poetry? Gold Publishing accepted it!” And as if on queue, she jumped onto the doctor and hugged her tight.

“You have to let the woman breathe,” Professor Daniel Colter entered the scene, smiling and eyeing the two women. As if sensing that the man overheard the last bit of their conversation, which is something that the other woman would have wanted to keep as a secret, Mulan let her go. And as for Daniel, he resumed to come nearer, eyes locked on Regina. “So, I am guessing that is the reason why you’ve been so absent recently?”

If this news came three months ago, both Daniel and Regina would have instinctively shared a hug with each other. However, things have changed when Regina found out that the man she fell in love with was married. They were both eyeing each other and only a short laugh was given by Regina. He offered his right hand and Regina shook it. It took them a short while before the moment was disturbed with Mulan’s forced cough.

“I think I shall give you both a minute to discuss this one,” and then she left. 

“So, congratulations on your publication, Mills.”

“Yeah, it feels like I am back on track again,” Regina chuckled. “It’s been quite a while since I’ve let myself do something for my own benefit - and I’ve definitely missed it.” She went back to her working desk to wear her glasses once more. Hoping that Daniel heard the sarcasm in her tone, she proceeded to pile the papers she was using earlier but her thoughts were once again cut as Daniel placed his hand on top of the papers that Regina was keenly fixing. 

“Yes, Professor Colter?”

“Regina, would you like to get some coffee? It’s going to be my treat.” He went around to the other side of the table and took Regina’s left hand, eyes trailing where their bodies met. As Daniel sensed the woman’s discomfort, he removed his hand immediately and apologized. 

Regina moved one step back and Daniel tried to explain himself, “Regina, we could try again.”

“You know we can’t! We’ve promised to keep everything professional this time. The project we were working on is done and you got what you wanted. You stole all the credit to my work, used me to get the data you needed. And even more, you are married? We just couldn’t work out our relationship Daniel. I don’t want any of that anymore.”

“But I fixed it!”

“You think you fixed it only when I threatened you that I’ll go directly to the admin.”

“Don’t be so selfish, Regina. You knew you needed the same thing back then. We teamed because you begged for it,” Daniel tried to muse. 

“Stop ruining this moment Professor Colter. We’ve had this conversation already and I am keeping my word at it.” 

“Regina, I am sorry-” but Regina did not hear any of it. Instead, she collected all her belongings and left the room. She was storming out of the hospital with her own thoughts running in her head. _Daniel Colter._ The man she was supposed to marry. She loved him, truly. And never had a day gone by without her hoping that things might change, it could have changed really if only he ha-

“Regina!” she looked for the voice that called out for her until her eyes landed on a blonde who was running to catch up with her. “Well, I just want to welcome you into our team - or actually, bribing you to join us. I’ve heard the news from my husband with regards to your ongoing publication. And I also got his recommendation,” she added.

Regina, on the other hand, just stared at the woman who was in front of her. Her thoughts were jumping from Daniel to this person talking to her. Offering her a job she has always wanted as well but she couldn’t be-

“Dear God, I think you can’t recognize me based on your reaction. I am Prof. Malynda Colter, the She-Colter.” 

“Da- I mean, Dr. Colter recommended me to your team?”

“Well, that is if you are still interested in being part of my team. You see, your line of research is much more compatible with mine and I’d like to have another brilliant mind to my side. It’s just between the two of us, but it’s somehow a lovely competition at home and I couldn’t believe my husband gave me you.”

“I’ll think about that Prof. Colter.” Regina smiled at her once more and ran off. 

_Could it actually get worse?_ She thought to herself. One moment, she was so ecstatic with the new milestone she has achieved. Doctor Regina Mills, the medical doctor, has finally produced something good after several years of being idle. And the next thing she knew, her former lover was trying to win her back by dumping her to his wife’s group. 

But no, she was not letting any of these to ruin this day. This is for her to seize, and it’s about time she should be proud of herself. As she reached the first step outside the hospital, she breathed. She breathed deeply. 

“You deserve to live, Regina,” she told herself and looked at the sky. _Blue and calm._ Students from the university beside were scattered all around and hospital workers who went out for a break were coming back inside. And for the first time in so long, none of the noises they’ve made mattered to her. She just smiled. As she plied down the steps, she admired the fountain that could be found in front of the building. She sat down on its ledge and placed her belongings to her side.

“This is what it’s supposed to be.” _Contentment._ She closed her eyes and just let the sun shine on her face. _Knowing that somehow you’re able to move forward. You are becoming you, Regina._ She gripped onto the ledge and felt something rather odd. It’s smoother than the rest of the stone that surrounds it. Until she realized that a single coin was cemented on the ledge. 

_Head’s up. Luck!_

How had someone placed it there? It didn’t look like it was added by any of the students. It was rather odd that a single coin, instead of being thrown into the fountain, was actually placed there. 

She just smiled at the thought, still not opening her eyes and just feeling the surface of the coin. For one reason or another, she pictured the people who were building this fountain decades ago. The man probably had believed in some kind of luck it may give to students or patients when they see its head up. Or maybe, he just wanted to play with everyone who would think they could actually get the coin. _But why would he even bother to give much thought about that?_ Regina chuckled. 

And when she opened her eyes, she saw a woman sitting under a tree across her. She was holding a pad that was definitely bigger than any of Regina’s notebooks and a pencil with her brows connecting to one another. Regina looked intently at this woman who was staring at her while her right hand was swiftly dancing across her paper. She was sketching the place. _No. She was sketching Regina._

When the blonde realized that Regina was looking at her, she froze for a second and quickly stood up. 

“Wait!” Regina called. With that, the blonde looked back at Regina who elegantly took her belongings and walked to her.

“I’m sorry, I knew that was rude and I should have asked for your permission before I sketched down anything,” said the blonde. _Green. Her eyes were green._

“Well, I’d like to see how I look before you leave. If you don’t mind, that is.” The blonde gave her a quizzical look but conceded. She sat down again and opened her pad. 

“It’s not the best. It’s more of a quick sketch rather than an actual drawing.” But Regina was not having it. It was detailed. It had depth. It was her but definitely different. She looked like she did not carry any baggage at all.

“I can give it to you if you don’t want me to keep it,” said the blonde apologetically. 

“That’s nonsense, dear. You’re very talented.”

“You have a look on your face that I could not read. What’s your real thought about it?”

Regina sighed. She looked once more at their surroundings and back to the drawing. This version of Regina is different from how she saw herself in the mirror every day. 

“This Regina, I mean, this version of me, is lighter.” She smiled and failed to give the blonde further explanation. Why would she be interested on her expla-

“Can you elaborate that for me?” Regina quickly glanced at her companion with a shock on her side. 

“I don’t know if that is a good idea, Ms.?”

“Swan.” Regina nodded. “Try me, Regina.” She sat down again and patted the space beside her. The way the blonde said those last three words made Regina think, and this is unusual. She was always the one who starts - and ends - a conversation. When she does not want to open up, she does not open up. But when this person uttered those three words, she felt no control but explain. So, following the stranger's request, she sat down. 

“The past few months have been a little too hard for me, Ms. Swan. And every day, when I look at the mirror, I don’t see this version of me anymore. All I see is a woman who’s tired and struggling.” It was clear that Regina has reached her limit and that’s all the blonde needed to know.

“It’s my interpretation. Every artist out there has a different way of creating their own piece, based on how they were able to perceive things in the past.” She stopped talking and hid her hand behind her back and goofily faced Regina. 

“For example, how does a pencil look like for you?” Regina was surprised with the way this young lady has taken the courage to ask her the silliest question today.

“Okay, well, I always picture a pencil to be yellow. Eraser on top and pointy on the other end.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, that’s how we commonly picture out a pencil because that’s how books in our childhood depict them. But if I asked a person from centuries ago, a pencil may have been this thick, rough, block of wood with a blunt lead in the middle.”  
  
“I can see that Miss Swan. I may have studied that in History.”

“But my point in this analogy is that there’s a thousand ways two objects, or even two people, could have an encounter. And that memorable encounter is exactly how one would remember such a thing. Thus, different interpretations are born. And now, my dear friend, this is my depiction of you. After you’ve realized that there is a coin stuck in there, you smiled. You breathed and smiled. And that’s my first encounter with you. _You were light._ ”

Regina could not hide how impressed she was with this person. Someone felt the spark of determination in her today. Someone saw her lightness. “You’ve put it differently. And your words were too kind.”

“I only speak the truth, Regina”.

“What’s your name, Ms. Swan?”  
“Emma. I am Emma Swan.”

_Emma Swan. Probably the silliest name I’ve ever heard._ Regina looked at her intently as if she’s trying to figure out what was going on inside the head of the blonde. Apparently, the woman who is now in front of her was very proud of how she explained herself. In a normal circumstance, Regina would probably have hated this. She would have hated that someone was able to impress her. After all, the last person who had given her the same feeling lied to her. 

But it was different with Emma Swan. She was proud and yet she could still be humble. In another word, she was honest with how she felt. And Regina was impressed not because someone outwitted her with an analogy she enjoyed hearing. She was impressed that a stranger that she had met five minutes ago could pick up on the smallest details, give a deeper meaning to what she saw, and felt the same lightness she wouldn’t even want to accept. 

“I believe you haven’t introduced yourself properly.” Emma winked at Regina who was too lost with her own thoughts. 

“Oh where are my manners? I’m Regina, Regina Mills.” She held out her hand and Emma had no problem as she quickly shook it. 

The two women shared a silence. For the first time, Regina felt like she needed to say something. Or even ask something about Emma to keep the conversation going. And when she opened her mouth, Emma positioned herself comfortably in front of Regina and stared at her deeply. 

“I hope you don’t mind if I continue sketching you. Now that I have a closer view, I would like to finish this one and give it to you.”

“I told you Ms. Swan, you can keep it.” 

But the blonde did not say anything. Instead, she continued drawing. Regina took this opportunity to look at her once more. _Emma Swan. The artist._ Could she be an artist? She was wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt underneath, skinny jeans, and a good pair of leather boots. This is hardly Regina’s style as she was wearing her signature beige pencil skirt and white short sleeved blouse. 

Regina tried to make herself comfortable. She folded her legs in the most elegant way possible and took off her blazer until she felt the blonde look at her with a slight annoyance on her face.

“Should I not move?”

“I’m sorry,” the blonde chuckled. “I couldn’t remember one small detail and you were already moving.”

Regina didn’t ask more but she tried to look at her sketch. Emma was referring to her scar. The one that she had on her upper lip that she got on an accident when she was seven.

“I had that scar for the love of science.” The blonde’s head bobbed up when she heard this but quickly went back to her sketch, as if telling Regina that she was listening while doing her work. 

“Both of my parents are - were medical doctors. My mother is a surgeon so obviously we had all of those medical equipment at home. So one time, I went to her office, played with this box of medical stuff that she has forbidden me to play with, but I did, and found her scalpel.”  
Emma had a grimace on her face when she heard the last sentence but showed no stopping with her work. Regina then continued. 

“So the moment I was looking at it, she entered the office and called my name. To both of our surprise, I flinched badly and gave myself this scar.”

“Well, it gave you that character Regina. It adds to your being.” After saying this, she tore the leaf off of her notebook and handed it over to Regina. She had never received a sketch of her before. Not because she didn’t want to have one, only that she had never met anyone who could do one for her. And now, this stranger, whose name is Emma Swan, had given her something that she knew she’d cherish for quite a long time. She was sure of that.

“Ms. Swan, I am very grateful for this one. I, on the other hand, do not know how to repay you. How about a cup of coffee? Anyway, I’m planning on treating myself.”  
The blonde looked like she was startled for one second but the emotion on her face quickly changed. She looked back at the building where Regina came from and started to think. She looked at Regina once more and then back at the building again. This time, Regina traced the same path Emma was looking at. The couple, _the Colters,_ were now holding hands as they got out of the building. 

“I really have to go now. I’m sorry,” said Emma. She quickly rose from where she was sitting and Regina tried to match the pace of movement of the blonde but to no avail. The moment Regina was able to steady herself up, Emma was starting to walk away.

“Emma!” Regina shouted and she caught the other woman’s attention, “Thank you”.

Emma simply nodded. 

\--------------------------------------

When Regina reached home, she decided to stay in the car for a few more minutes. Somehow, staying inside a vehicle has given her that kind of peace to think. It was starting to get dark outside but a little time to let herself breathe one more time would hurt. She grabbed her coffee, took a sip, and checked her phone. 

Mulan forwarded her the email that came from the Gold Publishing. It still feels surreal and she’s finally starting to make her own name. 

_I am not only Doctor Regina Mills. Now, I’m becoming the person I want to be._

Her eyes drifted to the piece of paper that lay on the passenger seat. She took it and opened the lights of her car. Emma Swan, the person who caught her breathing under the sun and laughing at the silly thought of finding a coin attached on the ledge. She realized that Emma took some time as well to sketch her hand touching the coin while having a good personal laugh. _This woman has some real talent and she wondered if she’ll ever be able to see her again._

Regina took her bag, her cup of coffee, and carefully went out of her car while making sure she wouldn’t crumple the paper. Today, she still won. 

The house was silent. Just like how it has been for the past 3 months. She could remember how there used to be someone laughing with her when she got home. _Daniel._ Daniel, who used to be her rock. Daniel, who used to be her anchor. He kept her grounded, but ironically, he kept her grounded for all the wrong reasons. 

Regina didn’t know why she was letting herself become emotional tonight. But maybe, just for one more time, she’d let these emotions she has suppressed come out and that should be the end of it. 

When she went to the counter of the kitchen, she remembered how she cooked for the both of them on their third date. Roasted chicken and marble potatoes. Regina chuckled because she stopped eating the same meal after her break-up with Daniel. She knew she would have to overcome this thing with avoiding things if she wanted to live her life normally. That night was memorable. It was the first time that Daniel has professed her love for Regina. He asked for her hand across the table, held it, and looked Regina straight in the eyes. 

_I love you._ And one could possibly guess how this night went on as Regina, who felt love for the first time, wanted to give the same amount of emotion she had kept inside of her. She gave herself to the man she fell in love with. She wanted him to have her, the best of her, and now she regrets the fact that she has given him everything. 

Regina realized that tears were rolling down her face while going back through memory lane. But she was not crying for him, she was crying for herself. She was letting herself heal. And she needed to let go of him. 

She then went to her bathroom, removed her make-up and cleaned herself before changing into her nighties. She was about to go straight to her room when she remembered that she left Emma’s drawing at the counter. Instead, she ran down, went to her office and was looking for the perfect spot to place it. But instead of being able to look for one, she saw her daddy’s photo.

Right there, Regina knew that Emma’s drawing wouldn’t stay here in her office. Instead, she went back upstairs and placed it on her nightstand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am using the "pattern" of how universities are working from where I am, so I would try to make it as simple and understandable as possible. Most medical universities (which are also catering non-medical programs) have their own hospitals and research centers. I would definitely accept comments and suggestions for this story. Let's see where these ladies go from here!


End file.
